its currently 8:36AM, must admit the earliest i've been up since high school (well, excluding yesterday).ok, i blatantly exaggerate. I actually wake up around 7AMish 3 times per week, but today I'm really feeling the tiredness; eyes feel like sandbags are pulling them down, and i have that eerie lightheaded dizziness you get when you can think of one thing and one thing only- your bed... your nice, comforting, warm bed and how your not in it. perhaps I'm feeling so fatigued at this early hour because its Sunday, the day perpetually known as 'the day of rest' or maybe its because i got 4 hours of sleep last night. why? because of a newfound fascination with madonna.
My Madonna interest was sparked out of nothing more than boredom. seeing as how i don't have cable, i have find myself frequenting youtube.com, late, late at night. Theres a moment, right before sleep hits when you crave mindless, numbing TV to ease you into that state of nocturnal bliss we commonly refer to as sleep. i usually (with a real TV) go for some vh1, E, or sitcom reruns. But with this youtube (which i must say is quite brilliant! but more on that later) i can search for anything, from The View to paparazzi videos. Lately David Letterman's been doing the trick. And the brilliance lies in the fact that you have the control. If there is a particular actor/singer/ personality that your espeicially interested in all you do is type "john joe on david letterman" into the search engine, and i guarantee at least 5 clips will appear, even if the person isn't well known. So, not having any one particular in mind, i blindly typed in David Letterman and, of course, what seemed like thousands upon thousands of clips appeared. I chose some vintage footage of Madonna. Classic! Who knew the child adopting, self controlled, poised family woman we see in the press today had such a vividly colorful past! OK, i don't live under a rock, of course Ive heard that Madonna is the queen of reinventing herself, but i had no interest in investigating this phrase. Until last night. So here is this woman sitting on the hideous, cream colored, early 90's Letterman set, and i find it hard to believe that she is the same Madonna we see today. This woman is raw, crude, inappropriate, outrageous, brash. She has no boundaries, no walls, does not in any way or form edit herself. She says what she feels the moment (or perhaps even a moment before) she thinks it. Either that or she was on some sort of drugs! either way, i didn't know whether to be taken aback by this outlandish behavior or oddly drawn to it. There is something unsettlingly attractive and intriguing about this quality- A person so uninhibited, so "free" if you will, to put themselves out there, nakedly, in her case quite literally as well. Society has trained us all to be polite. To be correct. To follow the rules and live within the boundaries. But for what? I understand that people cannot run around free of regulations and limits, the world would be chaos, and perhaps that's why people are frightened when they see someone such as Madonna so brave and willing to do so. Letterman was clearly baffled, laughing awkwardly and helplessly looking to his crew for direction. And Madonna just sat there, calm and possessed, puffing on a cigar and i imagine internally laughing for causing such calamity in this man. naturally, i wanted to find out more about her! so when the interview ended, i did have a specific person of interest in mind for my next youtube quest. i watched her 3 other times on Letterman and her infamous MTV award performance (again, classic!). The mtv performance really caught my notice, which forced me to give my full, undivided attention to the computer screen. I remember intially watching it when I was about 13. I remember all the controversy surrounding it. I remember feeling as if I were there, in the stadium, feeling the adrenaline pump through my veins as Britney and Christina belted out Madonna classics. And then the magesty herself appeared, tall, looming, such a presence! And Britney and Christina carried on, playing their parts, BRitney with her ridiculous little baby doll expressions. And all this causes me to wonder; if a person reinvents themselves constantly, does that mean they never really know who they are or perhaps they know themselves so well which gives them the freedom to explore expressing different sides of thier personality? Because we have these "people" (and as politically incorrect as this sounds, I hesitate to call celebrities that, because really they are viewed more like Gods, living icons) but they have these invented personas- i.e. Britney used to be considered the 'virginal good girl' and Madonna has been called everything from 'wild child' to 'humanatarian'. My point is (although Im having trouble conveying it)....ugh I'm being interupted too much at work, I lost my trian of thought LOL! This is what happens at 8 AM, with no caffeine going on four hours of sleep!
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