major crisis

im just about having a nervous breakdown at the moment! i was recently informed that my lease is to be terminated come the end of september. and now, in order for me to keep my near perfect apartment, i have to not only repay the brokers fee, but my rent will be raised as well. these realators are just trying to suck more money out of me. i am so frusterated, because as we all know, finding a decent nyc apartment is next to impossible. ive grown to love where im at... the location at least. im so close to the train, the park, the east river, friends apartments, restaurants, bars, not to mention bloomingdales and bergdorfs. I love that I can walk two avenues East and go window shopping at Chloe or Prada. I love that I can walk a few blocks south and go shopping at places I can actually afford, i.e. urban outfitters and searle and bebe and vintage shops... the list can continue, but great shopping aside, i really have come to love the upper east side. Although my apartment is the size of a shoebox, and I have to walk up 5 flights of stairs to get to it, the thought of moving in a month is nauseating! I just painted my kitchen too!! No. I cant be bothered with the tedious task of scanning village voice and craigslist, negotiating with realators, owners, landlords, and finally viewing the apt only to find out its a complete mess. the "charming 1BR with a great view and location" turns out to be a cramped studio with a view of a brick wall and a 5 block walk to the nearest train. No can do. I honestly dont have the energy or stamina to deal with this whole apartment fiasco now. And to add to the disaster, I already promised to share the apt with someone. An apartment, come Oct 1, I will no longer have. Unless of course I shell out another grand or two to these fucking realators.